Captain Morgan

The Captain wasn’t always just for mixing spiced rum with Diet Coke. In the 17th century he was a feared privateer.

Not only did the Welsh pirate marry his own cousin (like Jerry Lee Lewis and Einstein), but he ran risky missions for the governor of Jamaica, like capturing some Spanish prisoners in Cuba and sacking Port-au-Prince in Haiti. He also plundered the Cuban coast before holding for ransom the entire city of Portobelo, Panama.

He later looted and burned Panama City, but his pillaging career came to an end when Spain and England signed a peace treaty in 1671. Instead of getting in trouble for his high-seas hi-jinks, Morgan received knighthood and became the lieutenant governor of Jamaica. Now I know why I like the guy. . . and the rum.