Ten Steven Wright Quotes

This is one funny guy that makes us think. Here are a few:

1.     I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2.     Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.
3.     Half the people you know are below average.
4.     All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.
5.     The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
6.     I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.
7.     OK, so what's the speed of dark?
8.     Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.
9.     I intend to live forever. . . So far, so good.
10.     If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?