Lonliness vs. Being Alone

Being lonely increases the risk of everything from heart attacks to dementia, depression and death. People who are satisfied with their social lives sleep better, age more slowly, and respond better to vaccines. Those who have rich social lives and warm relationships do not get as sick and they live longer. A person can be lonely in a crowd or be alone and not be lonely.

Research shows, our bodies have evolved so that in situations of perceived social isolation, they trigger branches of the immune system involved in wound healing and bacterial infection. Differences relate most strongly to how lonely people think they are. Ending loneliness is not about spending more time with people, but about our attitude to others. Changing this attitude reduces loneliness more effectively than giving people more opportunities for interaction.

Meditation is typically done while a person is alone and there is evidence that meditation boosts the immune response in vaccine recipients and people with cancer, protects against a relapse in major depression, soothes skin conditions, and even slows the progression of HIV. As with social interaction, meditation works largely by influencing stress response pathways. People who meditate have lower cortisol levels.

In a study of fifty people with advanced lung cancer, those judged by their doctors to have high “spiritual faith” responded better to chemotherapy and survived longer. More than forty percent were still alive after three years, compared with less than ten percent of those judged to have little faith.

Some think that what matters is having a sense of purpose in life. Having an idea of why you are here and what is important increases your sense of control over events. Spending more time doing what you love, whether it is gardening or volunteer work has a similar effect on health. Bottom line, loneliness is more of an attitude than a state of physical being. You have the power to be happy, alone or with others.